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Teens at Comfort Zone Camp never cease to amaze me with the ways music and song saturate their lives; how they use it to express their feelings, hopes and fears related to the loss of a parent, sibling, grandparent, or close friend. CDs and i-pods are almost always in their backpacks.
They have taught me the power of music and song in navigating the grief journey. I confess, old fogy that I am, some of the music I cannot relate to. But it speaks to them, and I honor that.
If you are the parent of a grieving teen, be courageous and listen to what they are listening to. Do it without judgment. When you have a song or music that relates to your own grief journey, share it with them and tell them why. If a conversation develops, that’s great and if it doesn’t, that’s OK too. They will know you paused to enter their world.
Here are just a few songs that teens chose to play in my Healing Circle at camp a few years back when our theme was Music. I wrote the titles down so I could recall them and listen to them later. They have a playlist all their own on my i-pod along with a couple of my favorites; three of which are on this list. Note: this list was made a few years ago.
- “Grave Digger” –Dave Matthews
- “Time of Your Life” –Green Day
- “Six Feet from the Edge” –Creed
- “Broken” –Seether and Amy Lee
- “Holes in the Floor of Heaven” –Steve Wariner
- “I Can Only Imagine” –Mercy Me
- “Hear You Me: What Would You Think of Me Now?” –Jimmy Eat World
- “Butterfly Kisses” –Collin Raye
- “Dance with My Father Again” –Luther Vandross
- “Only Time” –Enya
- “Why” –Rascal Flats
- “You Raise Me Up” –Josh Groban
- “Something More” –Switchfoot
- “Welcome to My Life” –Simple Plan
- “Amazing Grace” –Judy Collins
- “Give Yourself to Love” –Kate Wolf
- “Suggestions for the Tailor” –Scott Pryor
- “You Listened to Me” –Steve Beta
Take time to listen. Some will make you cry, some will make you think, some will lift you up.
I also invite you to add to the list. What songs have you used to help in your grief journey? Maybe they remind you of your loved one, or have lyrics that give you hope. Please share in the comments below.
36 Comments:
the song that my daughter sang at my husband’s service was In Loving Memory, by Alter Bridge.. a really good song
“The Riddle”–Five for Fighting…beautiful song/lyrics about the meaning of life.
Address In The Stars…. By Caitlin and Will …This is a wonderful song.
“Til I can gain control again”, by Willie Nelson, and many others.
“Anthem” by Leonard Cohen
I really enjoyed this article. As a 39 year old student of classical piano and voice, as well as somebody who lost their father at a young age, I can relate to this in a very personal way.
More than songs I can sing along to, I myself have found some solace in great works by composers like Schumann & Mendelssohn. My instructor gives me pieces that are “felt” because she knows I can feel them.
I would love to be able to pass that onto others. It’s a focused discipline, something that also has helped me.
Thanks again for the wonderful article.
Please post the composition and pass them on. It will be nice to have some classical items in the list. Check out comfortzonecamp.org -You may want to volunteer given your loss and experience.
If Tomorrow Never Comes…By: Garth Brooks
On The Radio- Regina Spektor
“You laugh until you cry
You cry until you laugh”
um yeah creed really touches me
Sarah Said by Death Cab for Cutie. (A really great band with an odd name.) This song talks about all of the awful and ugly things we went through while essentially waiting for Mom to die…and the amazing love it takes to do that, to be there for that process.
My sister and I sang Billy Joel’s Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) at our father’s funeral.
One Sweet Day – Mariah Carey
There You’ll be – Faith Hill
The Prayer – Celine Dion & Josh Groban
To where you are – Josh Groban
I’ll be Missing you- P.Diddy
Arms of the angel – Sarah McLauchlin
I’ll Remember You- Sarah Mclauchlin
Angel of Mine- Monica
These all really helped me when my friend died=[
RIP.<3
“Against All Odds” by Phil Collins came out shortly after my mom died while I was in college (a looong time ago, I wonder how many folks reading this even know the song!). It’s not an uplifting song by any stretch, but certainly captured some of the anguish her sudden passing caused. When I hear it now, all these years later, I’m reminded of the fact that God did give me the grace and strength I needed to get though it, and that I had many wonderful friends that were there for me at the time.
i know alot of people dont like miley cyrus that much (me included) but the song “i miss you” by her actually made me cry
My sister and I sang Billy Joel’s Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) at our father’s funeral.
Cindy Bullens has some wonderful music that she recorded for a Documentary “Space Between Breaths” produced by Luther & Rosemary Smith (A film by Children of the Dome)
Some of the songs that speak to me are: “Paper & Glass”, “In Better Hands”, Somewhere Between Heaven & Earth”, “I Gotta Believe in Something”, “Water On the Moon”, “As Long As You Love (Scarlet Wings)& “Better Than I’ve Ever Been”
“Imagine”-John Lennon
“Other Side”- David Grey
“Hold on”- Sarah Mclaughin
“Come Home”- One Republic
“Mad World”- Adam Lambert, Gary Jules
“Turpentine”- Brandi Carlile
“Unmendable Heart”- Go to Youtube and search Andrew Siraco
“Letters From The Sky”- Civil Twilight
“Love is Stronger Than Death”- The The
These are some of the ones that have helped me and came to mind right away. I will add another short listing as more come to me. I came here looking for some more to add to my list, and appreciate everyone taking the time to share the songs that have helped you heal.
“Keep Me In Your Heart” – Warren Zevon
“What a Wonderful World” – Louis Armstrong
“Bridge Over Troubled Water” – Simon & Garfunkel
“I Will Remember You” – Sarah McLachlan
“I Can Only Imagine” – Mercy Me
“Feeling Good” – Michael Buble (Nina Simone)
“Christmas in Heaven” – Genuine Sun
Shine your light by robbie robertson
follow you into the dark death cab for cutie
someones watching over me hilary duff
hurt christina aug
my fav songs without you-breaking benjamin, dear agony-breaking benjamin, waiting for the end-linkin park, numb-linkin, hurrican-thirty sec to mars, faith-a day to remember
1000 Oceans by Tori Amos
wake me up when september ends
it has a good meaning billie wrote it when his dad dieb of cancer
Never Gonna B Alone by Nickelback
I’ll be there by the Escape Club
Monique Vieras – You Will Never Be Forgotten
http://www.youtube.com/user/ComptonBrosStudio?feature=mhum#p/a/u/0/JvQRKwkaWCk
I loved this article! Thank you so much!
Regina Spektor – The Call
Rob Thomas – Little Wonders
PFR – Life Goes On
Matthew West-Save a place for me
ozzy – see you on the other side
lifehouse – broken & come back down
Skid Row – I Remember You
and when feeling low –
The Summer Obsession – Disappear
Another couple of suggestions: Like You – Evanescence
My Immortal – Evanescence
For me it’s Hurt by Christina Aguilera. I lost my dad almost 9 years and and am still grieving. This song, I can’t explain it, it’s exactly how I feel.
for me it was;
Reign over me by the who/pearl jam
hurt by johnny cash
more to life by switchfoot
among others
The song I’m going to play at my husbands memorial next week is called Your Long Journey, by Allison Krauss and Robert Plant. Listen to it, it’s beautiful.
Lightning crashes by live reminds me of losing my mother and sister
Somewhere Only We Know by Keane is a beautiful song that I listen to whenever I just want to sit back and let my emotions run wild.
I played Heaven by Andy Griggs at my husband’s service 7 months ago, it’s absolutely beautiful. Though to get through this, I Believe,
by Diamond Rio says it all. I Still Love…. You by Trace Adkins is beautiful.
After my husband’s grandfather, my best friend (who I found out about on the 22nd anniversary of my dad’s death) and then my mentor all died in 2009, I found Home by Daughtry really comforting.