Comments on: Seven Years Later http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/ A place to learn and share about grief and loss Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:20:44 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Laura http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-39350 Laura Thu, 02 Feb 2012 15:26:07 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-39350 I was fortunate to have had my dad until I was 30. I always knew because of his heart condition we were living on borrowed time but it hurts just the same. He died in 2008 and it still hurts. I was a daddy's girl and that bond will make me miss him forever. I still have days where I burst into tears when I think about him being gone. I would do anything to pick up the phone and just talk to him. You are right it gets better but it never goes away. I was fortunate to have had my dad until I was 30. I always knew because of his heart condition we were living on borrowed time but it hurts just the same. He died in 2008 and it still hurts. I was a daddy’s girl and that bond will make me miss him forever. I still have days where I burst into tears when I think about him being gone. I would do anything to pick up the phone and just talk to him. You are right it gets better but it never goes away.

]]> By: Marie http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-39263 Marie Thu, 02 Feb 2012 01:16:22 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-39263 Thx 4 everyone's comments. I had a rough day today of agitation, sadness, and depression. My father died of pancreatic cancer a little over six months ago and his birthday was yesterday. Definitely rough but yesterday I did good but today I'm catching a backlash of grief. I don't know what to say except that I know this is normal but it sucks so bad. I went to his grave and I'm like really? Really are you under there? I just don't get it how the body dies and the spirit lives? This mystery got me all screwed up?! Thx 4 everyone’s comments. I had a rough day today of agitation, sadness, and depression. My father died of pancreatic cancer a little over six months ago and his birthday was yesterday. Definitely rough but yesterday I did good but today I’m catching a backlash of grief. I don’t know what to say except that I know this is normal but it sucks so bad. I went to his grave and I’m like really? Really are you under there? I just don’t get it how the body dies and the spirit lives? This mystery got me all screwed up?!

]]> By: bill http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-39083 bill Tue, 31 Jan 2012 08:07:10 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-39083 There was a wonderful life before my father died suddenly from a heart attack when I was 13 years old. And there's been the life afterwards. I graduated from college. Had a great job. Made a great deal of money. Had a great family, a wife of 40 years and two wonderful sons. But in that time since his death I've hidden the pain and hurt almost till is was unbearable. Now I'm 66 years old. And time has healed nothing. There was a wonderful life before my father died suddenly from a heart attack when I was 13 years old. And there’s been the life afterwards.

I graduated from college. Had a great job. Made a great deal of money. Had a great family, a wife of 40 years and two wonderful sons.

But in that time since his death I’ve hidden the pain and hurt almost till is was unbearable. Now I’m 66 years old. And time has healed nothing.

]]> By: Leeface http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-39057 Leeface Tue, 31 Jan 2012 01:00:09 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-39057 I lost my dad jan 20th 2012. This has been the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I knew someday my parents would pass, but did not realize how strange it would feel. It feels as if that small lump or knot in your stomach will never go away. I dont know how to deal with it, I dont know how to handle it. He was 81 years old, so he lived a long life, but he suffered so much at the end, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had a wonderful 33 years with him and for that I am thankful, but it does not fill this hole I have inside. I try not to cry, I try not to think about it, but its like it just runs up and punches you right in the heart at that strangest moments. I miss you daddy and I will miss you forever.... R.I.P. James Lee Richards 03/19/30- 01/20/12 I lost my dad jan 20th 2012. This has been the hardest things I have ever had to deal with. I knew someday my parents would pass, but did not realize how strange it would feel. It feels as if that small lump or knot in your stomach will never go away. I dont know how to deal with it, I dont know how to handle it. He was 81 years old, so he lived a long life, but he suffered so much at the end, and there was nothing I could do about it. I had a wonderful 33 years with him and for that I am thankful, but it does not fill this hole I have inside. I try not to cry, I try not to think about it, but its like it just runs up and punches you right in the heart at that strangest moments. I miss you daddy and I will miss you forever….
R.I.P. James Lee Richards 03/19/30- 01/20/12

]]> By: Amanda http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-38969 Amanda Mon, 30 Jan 2012 03:45:31 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-38969 I stumbled across your site while looking for a poem or something to use as a memoriam for my Dad. This April it will be 20 years! Some days it seems like it was yesterday that he passed and others it seems like I have lived a lifetime without him. Every word you have put down, I have felt. He has been on my mind so much lately and I don't know why. Usually there are days when he hasn't even crossed my mind. It's been so long............... I still miss him terribly! I will keep you in my prayers! I stumbled across your site while looking for a poem or something to use as a memoriam for my Dad. This April it will be 20 years! Some days it seems like it was yesterday that he passed and others it seems like I have lived a lifetime without him. Every word you have put down, I have felt. He has been on my mind so much lately and I don’t know why. Usually there are days when he hasn’t even crossed my mind. It’s been so long…………… I still miss him terribly!
I will keep you in my prayers!

]]> By: annie http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-38762 annie Sat, 28 Jan 2012 02:42:42 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-38762 Thanks so much for the original posts and all the comments. I lost my dad five years ago and I think this has been the worst anniversary. He had a downward spiral at the end of his life--ethically, financially, health wise--and our relationship was strained when he died. I regret so much now, especially the eulogy I gave, which was too short and empty. I'm so shocked at how, five years later, I jumped back to how I felt when he died, so raw and filled with sorrow. However, after reading all these posts, I feel that these emotions are totally normal and healthy. Thank you all so much. Thanks so much for the original posts and all the comments. I lost my dad five years ago and I think this has been the worst anniversary. He had a downward spiral at the end of his life–ethically, financially, health wise–and our relationship was strained when he died. I regret so much now, especially the eulogy I gave, which was too short and empty.
I’m so shocked at how, five years later, I jumped back to how I felt when he died, so raw and filled with sorrow. However, after reading all these posts, I feel that these emotions are totally normal and healthy. Thank you all so much.

]]> By: Blake http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-38529 Blake Wed, 25 Jan 2012 10:19:00 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-38529 I know you wrote this article out of pure emotion. I google searched "how to get over the death of a loved one even after its been years" and this article was at the top of the list. I lost my dad in oct. 2008. Iwe were pretty close and it is hard for others to understand how much I cared for him cause I'm not a very affectionate person. I was 26 when he passed. He died of a hospitals mistake and would still be here today if they would have listend to him. I had no clue he was going to die when he did. I turned down a chance to visit him the day he died and regret it still to this day. I can feel yourain when you say little things remind you of him. Othereople that have not lost someone close do not fully understand the pain and agony. It was two months after my dad passed away that my girlfriend and I found out she was pregnant. We had a little boy. He turned two in August last year . Sometimes when he makes different facial expressions I see my dad and it sometimes brings tears to my eyes cause it makes me miss my dad. I love my son to death and just wish my dad could have got to be a part of his life. I feel I will never get over the fact that he is gone. My other two siblings were always close to my mom and I was closer to my dad it seems and I don't think they realize how bad it still hurts me that he is gone. I know they miss him too but I feel depressed on a regular basis and it seems to be taking a toll on me mentally. I never want to forget anything about my dad but I wish the pain would fade away some. I have been remembering a lot about my childhood lately and my dad for some reason and it has been making me very sad and that's why I decided to search for any kind of answers or support that I could find. Thank you all for posting such personal stories. I can relate to most all of you and am glad we are not alone. I know you wrote this article out of pure emotion. I google searched “how to get over the death of a loved one even after its been years” and this article was at the top of the list. I lost my dad in oct. 2008. Iwe were pretty close and it is hard for others to understand how much I cared for him cause I’m not a very affectionate person. I was 26 when he passed. He died of a hospitals mistake and would still be here today if they would have listend to him. I had no clue he was going to die when he did. I turned down a chance to visit him the day he died and regret it still to this day. I can feel yourain when you say little things remind you of him. Othereople that have not lost someone close do not fully understand the pain and agony. It was two months after my dad passed away that my girlfriend and I found out she was pregnant. We had a little boy. He turned two in August last year . Sometimes when he makes different facial expressions I see my dad and it sometimes brings tears to my eyes cause it makes me miss my dad. I love my son to death and just wish my dad could have got to be a part of his life. I feel I will never get over the fact that he is gone. My other two siblings were always close to my mom and I was closer to my dad it seems and I don’t think they realize how bad it still hurts me that he is gone. I know they miss him too but I feel depressed on a regular basis and it seems to be taking a toll on me mentally. I never want to forget anything about my dad but I wish the pain would fade away some. I have been remembering a lot about my childhood lately and my dad for some reason and it has been making me very sad and that’s why I decided to search for any kind of answers or support that I could find. Thank you all for posting such personal stories. I can relate to most all of you and am glad we are not alone.

]]> By: Fiona http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-36805 Fiona Sat, 14 Jan 2012 21:21:37 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-36805 I know how you feel, my dad died unexpectedly when I was 9 six years ago the day after my birthday and even now certain things will make me burst into tears. My friends just tell me to get over and stop being such a baby but it's not that easy. I'm leaving school in a few months and I really hate that he isn't going to be there for me when I do. Thank you for writing this, I can really relate and it brings up feelings to those who have lost a parent and to those who haven't as well. I know how you feel, my dad died unexpectedly when I was 9 six years ago the day after my birthday and even now certain things will make me burst into tears. My friends just tell me to get over and stop being such a baby but it’s not that easy. I’m leaving school in a few months and I really hate that he isn’t going to be there for me when I do. Thank you for writing this, I can really relate and it brings up feelings to those who have lost a parent and to those who haven’t as well.

]]> By: Lisa http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-36360 Lisa Fri, 13 Jan 2012 03:51:02 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-36360 Rasna, I also believe that your Dad lives on in your heart and your head. No one can ever take away the feeling of being loved by him. It is just a thought away. I will never forget how my husband made me feel, nor how he was with my children. Rasna, I also believe that your Dad lives on in your heart and your head. No one can ever take away the feeling of being loved by him. It is just a thought away. I will never forget how my husband made me feel, nor how he was with my children.

]]> By: rasna http://www.hellogrief.org/seven-years-later/comment-page-4/#comment-35809 rasna Wed, 11 Jan 2012 03:59:27 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=687#comment-35809 my dad died last nov 2011 but still he is in my heart, head and mind. I wish he was still here. I can't remember his last words but we loved each other. I have talked to him many times without reply, some people believe in the afterlife. I'm crying now , writing here. I'm just having a sad night. He lives in my heart and head. I believe that's the afterlife. I'm not religious, I wish I could "see" him again but I can't. He will always be with me in my mind and heart. It's taken me ages to write this. Sorry for this , I'm just having a sad moment. Just had to tell you all, just a sad day today my dad died last nov 2011 but still he is in my heart, head and mind. I wish he was
still here. I can’t remember his last words but we loved each
other. I have talked to him many times without reply,
some people believe in the afterlife. I’m crying now , writing here. I’m just having a sad night. He lives in my heart and head. I believe that’s the
afterlife.
I’m not religious, I wish I could “see” him again but
I can’t. He will always be with me in my mind and heart. It’s taken me ages to write this. Sorry for this , I’m just having a sad moment. Just had to tell you all, just a sad day today

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