Teens’ Talk about Parents Dating Again

You can add to the conversation by adding your answer as a comment. The below question was sent in from a 17 year old girl from Virginia.

Q: My Mom is dating again, and I’m worried that she’s trying to replace my Dad one. What can I do? - Anonymous, 17

The way i thought of it was that my mom dating was to make her happy and to get her mind off things. No one will ever replace your loved one in you heart. Your parent just has to have some fun time to get things off their minds..!! – Laura, 16

My mom recently started dating, and it’s really hard to adjust to. I never thought that my mom would meet someone else that she feels extremely passionate towards other than my Dad. I’m happy for my mom, because the man that she’s with is a widower, his wife died 1 year ago, and they’re very happy. I feel that marriage would be a bit extreme at this point, but all I can do is be happy for my mom, because if she’s happy, I’m happy. Make sure that you’re comfortable with the person that your Mom/Dad is dating, and if you feel a weird vibe off of them, tell your Mom/Dad. It may be awkward, but in the end it’s the best. – Julia

It can be really hard to talk to your Mom/Dad about dating after losing a parent. If you have siblings, they can help relate to what you are feeling about the current situation. If you don’t have siblings a good trustworthy friend can help you as well. Just know that your Mom/ Dad is not trying to replace your loved one. They know that no one will ever fill that void. - Joelle, 14

Talk to your Mom/Dad if you are feeling like they are trying to replace your loved one. Parents can be a great source of answers and confidence. – Timmy, 18

My mom remarried two and a half years ago and to say the least, I was not very happy. I could tell my mom was happy though and so for her sake I pretended to be okay. My mom’s husband is a nice guy, but he’s definitely not my dad. I would say it’s a hard adjustment for the whole family because everyone has to try to be comfortable with each other and figure out the kind of relationship you will all have. I’m not very close with my stepdad but I’ve been trying really hard to stay closer to my mom. It’s not an easy transition when a parent starts dating again and there is unfortunately no formula to make it that way. Each situation is different, but make sure not to keep your emotions bottled up. Having someone to talk to, whether it’s your parent, a sibling, or even just a friend, makes a difference. – Candace, 18

Your parents aren’t trying to replace your loved one. You have to understand the fact that they don’t want to spend the rest of their life alone, because before you know it, you’ll be grown up and having your own life to deal with. So, it’s not that their replacing them, and it doesn’t mean they’re over the loss, but nobody should have to spend their life alone. Talk to your parent about it, and they’ll tell you how they feel. Don’t ever be afraid to ask about it, they may not want to talk about it at the moment, but come back at a better time and discuss it together, don’t be scared to let them know how you feel. – Deanna, 13

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72 Comments:

  1. Anonymous, 14 said on July 26, 2010 at 11:30 pm ... #

    Some people can’t deal with spending the rest of their time alone. Maybe your mother’s found someone she’s really passionate about and you should support her. She definitely isn’t trying to replace your dad. She feels lonely right now and maybe, you can ask her privately sometime, about her feelings. You guys should have a daughter-to-mom talk about boundaries and everything, perhaps that’ll fix things up.

    And believe me, I can sympathize. My dad has just started dating again, but I’m glad for him, because he was so depressed after my mom’s death. :/

  2. Halsey said on December 24, 2010 at 6:24 pm ... #

    I feel the same. I’m 14 and my mom is just starting to date again. At least of what I know of. My father died in 2003, and it still feels like a huge shock for me. but I don’t think that she should be dating, because she always talks so passionate about my dad. I feel bad that I don’t want her to date, but she’s happy, I guess.

  3. genny said on March 9, 2011 at 1:31 am ... #

    i’m 14 and have 4 brothers. my dad died 2 years ago of a heart attack. my mom’s dating a man i’ve known all my life and i knew his wife before she died 5 years ago of cancer. he’s a really nice guy and he’s good to my mom and us but just the idea of another man in our house is just weird ’cause i’m not even really over my dad’s death yet but i don’t let any of my family know that. to them i’m always the one who never cries. am i wrong to be freaked out by this?

  4. olivia said on June 8, 2011 at 12:03 am ... #

    My mom started dating a guy a few weeks ago. Hes a nice guy, but i feel uncomfortable with a man in the house because the reason my parents got a divorce a few years ago was because my dad treated my mom, my brothers, and i very badly. Im scarred my mom will get hurt and i cant see her get hurt again. Whenever her boyfriend comes over i dont even want to be home.am i being unreasonable?

  5. Shanice said on June 12, 2011 at 10:57 pm ... #

    My mom just got a divorce a year ago and she just started dating again but i just don’t want to see her with someone else. It just feels wrong to not know who it is and not know if he is treating her right. I don’t want for her to go out with these men and one of them drugs her just to get something out of her and she doesn’t know what happened.I really don’t want her to date unless I’m out of the house and in college so I don’t have to here how happy she is, I’m not saying I don’t want her to be happy it’s just that I don’t want to be around. Is it bad to feel that way?

  6. Katherine said on September 26, 2011 at 2:16 am ... #

    My mom and dad divorced when I was 2…I’m okay with my parents not being together. My dad has been with his wife now for 10 years…they have always respected my step sister and me with the whole public affection crap. When it comes to my mom, though, I’m pretty anal. When I was 8 she started dating Chris…they had a child together so we moved in with him when I was 12. It’s lasted for 2 years and my mom was pretty devastated because she felt she was losing her family and it was hard to get her to understand that Laney and I were her family. It’s been a year since everything happened. I want her to date! There’s this guy who I’ve met 4 or 5 times. He’s nice and I like him for her but the problem is that my mom is way to affectionate and It’s not something that I’ve ever seen…not even with Chris! I asked her to take it easy in front of Laney (4) and me because he’s not her boyfriend yet! He came over today and she obviously didn’t comprehend a damn thing because she was all over him. I was bothered and I made sute to let her know but she was just like “I won’t talk to him anymore then.” That’s not what I want…I just want her to ease me into what she thinks is a potential relationship. I want my mom to have someone to hold and kiss but its too soon for her to be SHOWING me. Am I wrong?

  7. Nick said on October 2, 2011 at 6:02 pm ... #

    My mom died three years ago… and my Dad is seeing a new person. I hate it and I can’t stand her at all… she’s really nice even. I just refuse to accept anyone else in my life or my 4 sibling’s lives

  8. Casey said on December 5, 2011 at 2:29 pm ... #

    my dad hasnt really started dating yet since my mom died but I am nervous and scared for the day to come!!

  9. Jody said on December 27, 2011 at 1:27 pm ... #

    My mom died last year 2010 in July because she has suffered from emphysema from smoking and other stuff.. I was 14 years old at the time. I’m 15, almost 16 now. It was the worst thing that has ever happened, and still the worst thing that has happened in my life. But after a year and a few months, the last few weeks my dad has been talking to someone new. I always said I didn’t have a problem with him dating again since day one, and that I wanted him to be happy. But now that it’s come up, I’m definitely not ready. The lady my dad’s seeing seems like a really sweet woman… but I’m not done grieving over my mother yet…

  10. kaitlin said on January 16, 2012 at 5:13 am ... #

    im 13 and i have 1 brother, he is 11.
    my parents split up just over a year ago, and about three or four months ago my mum started talking and texting this guy, i obviously got very suspicious so, i did something that i knew was wrong and that i regret but sometimes still do, i started to read some of her texts and i soon found out that they were kind of flurting with each other after a few weeks i realised that they were kind of going out, so i asked mum about this guy,tony, and she told me that they were just friends and that they were going to see what happened.
    i made it very clear to my mum that i really, really didnt want her to have a boyfriend, but we just kept arguing, 3 months later and me and mum are still have the same fights.
    i desperatly dont want my mum to have boyfriend, its not because i want my parents to get back together,i dont. iv never seen my parents in love, my dad suffers from bipolar mood disorder and this put extream strain on my family life for as long as i can remeber, iv always had a stressful homelife in that sense, so when dad finally moved out i just felt realaxed, and then MUM GOES AND GETS A BOYFRIEND! for once in my life im not worrying about my personal life and then this happenes.
    i dont know what it is that i hate about it so much, one thing i know that worries me alot is the fact that my mum and tony are by this point in there realationship,doing it, which for some reason upstets me amensly, also my dads still loves my mum, my brother is getting quite depressed about this and i feel as if i cant tell my friends cause they just get annoyed, its not like i can talk to mum about it we will just argue.

    but the saddest thing about this all is that me and mum used to be so close, everyone used to comment on how close we were. now were close but no where near as close as we used to be.
    i just want to know when this will stop, i know im causing most of these problems, if i just let go and let myself be happy with this situation everything would be fine, but i cant seem to do it, im so despreate for all this to end.
    i want to be friends with my mum again, i want to be able to deal with this.
    i want to be happy.

  11. Amber Klimasara said on January 18, 2012 at 12:16 am ... #

    My mom and dad just got divorced A WEEK AGO and my mom is already dating this guy she knows I hate . She started dating him later that day.I am always so depressed we i c him,hear about him or even think about him. What should i do. :(

  12. scare them away said on February 3, 2012 at 7:34 am ... #

    if he really likes your mom he wud buy u watever u wanted to keep you happy because he loves yourmom and if he dont do that then he just uses yo mom for sex

  13. Kathy Wright said on February 24, 2012 at 11:31 pm ... #

    Hi Amber:

    It’s your Aunty Kathy up here in Canada. I know you’re very sad about your Mom & Dad divorcing. I am too. I agree that it sucks that your Mom is dating and even getting married again. Unfortunately, she hasn’t been happy with your dad for a while. But sometimes people (even adults!) choose things that they think are good for them and will make them happy. I think the best that you can do is to choose to be nice to your mom & Tom because they’re gonna get married no matter how you feel. Concentrate on choosing to be happy with the other parts of your life. You have a nice sister and a Dad who loves you. And Uncle Shane and I love you very much even though we don’t get to see you very often. You’re a kind and nice girl and that’s what counts. Keep your chin up and keep smiling! Your smile will soon go from the outside to inside your heart. It’s contagious!
    Love you!
    Aunty Kathy

  14. kelly said on March 6, 2012 at 9:10 pm ... #

    I’m 12 and my mom died when I was ten. My dad started going out at nights and I didn’t know why. Then one time I was typing something for school and a message from “jenbunni364″ came up and it said “I can’t wait until you come over tonight… there are roses on my bed. i’m touching myself right now because you turn me on.” then there was a video of a woman with no clothes and she was masturbating. It was nasty and gross. I mean my dad didn’t even wait 2 yrs b4 he started dating other women. I still haven’t told anybody and it seriously keeps me up at night and i shouldn’t have to know any thing about my dad’s sex life unless it involves me getting a new sibling what should i do I’m terrified and freaking out should i tell someone or what im very confused and scared.

  15. Lily S. said on March 10, 2012 at 4:29 pm ... #

    My mom and dad have been divored for 5 years now. My mom had been dating this guy for 4 years. He lived with us and we regarded him as our second father. Unfortunately, he left my mom in december of last year. My mom got a job with a family run store that makes her work from 8AM to 10PM. Since she’s a waitress/cashier/cook lady she comes in contact with lots of people. Mainly mem who have no family to cook them dinner. Lately, my mother has been tecting one of her customers and hanging out with him incessantly. I understand her need to have fun an chill out with her friends, but this guy keeps her out till 3-4AM. When i confront her about it, she yells at me and says i dont undertand her. She blames her job schedule. That that is the reason why she HAS to stay out so late to hang out. I’m afraid she gonna start dating this complete stranger. Whenever he calls she immediately leaves the room. She say they’re just friends but i’m not so sure anymore. After all, she wants to change her whole person to suit his lifestyle. Also, she has 4 kids to worry about. I understand she thinks of me as a responsible adult, (17) and that i should understand where she’s comimg from but i cant. The more i try, the angrier i get with her and with him. I’ll stay up late on school nights trying to wait for her so we an talk like we used to, only to not see her the entire day, except for maybe 30 min of her lunch break. I just i don’t know what to do anymore. How can she start dating a mere 2 months after her boyfriend left her. Somebody we were attached to? And then she brings this other guy over as if there’s nothing wrong with that. I just, i do t understand. My brother also has problems with this guy. An yesterday, my mom told him if he hated it so much, he could go live with his dad. That was justso childish. I had told her in confidence, my brother was feeling grossed out by her new lifestyle. After the major fight we had, she lashed onto him. She thinks i’m disrespecting her and her authority. That im pitting my brother and sisters against her. That im taking her job as mother away from her. I don’t understand. What can i do? Everytime i talk to her, we get nowhere. No matter how i feel, she will always be right. Regardless of what i say. Also, she’s started deinking and smoking, again for the benefit of this guy.

  16. Becky said on April 9, 2012 at 10:30 am ... #

    To all the teens that are depressed over their mother/father dating….everyone deserves to be happy. You may feel like your parent is ignoring you, disrespecting you, doesn’t care about you or your feelings, but the main thing that you should know is that your parent loves you unconditionally. The children are always the first priority, but you have to realize that your parent needs a life too! A dating parent may cause stress and unhappiness, but that parent is always there for you. They may be going out on dates, but you’re the one in their thoughts. Be happy that your parent is enjoying life and living! You’re going to grow up, move out, and begin your own journey in life….let your parent enjoy their life too! It will be hard, and you will feel left out, but you are the one to believe that your mom or dad would never do anything to hurt you. They are just trying to find some happiness in love. You will not be put aside for anyone, you are what parents live for.

  17. Paige said on April 22, 2012 at 3:53 am ... #

    Ok so my mom is getting a divorce for the second time! First my dad and now my step dad. Im 13 and im tired of guys being stupid!!! So i just flat out told her i dont want her to date again. She thinks im some type of little brat but i dont want her to get hurt again and not to be selfish but i dont want another dad! Does amyone see where im coming from?!

  18. Abby said on May 5, 2012 at 7:52 pm ... #

    My mom just started dating after my parents just got a divorce. But the thing is they aren’t officially divorced yet. And he has tried to be like a father but I just keep crying myself to sleep. I just thought to myself its making my mom happy so I just have kind of been at my dads and trying to process what’s happening. I think it kind of works.

  19. carter said on May 7, 2012 at 4:53 pm ... #

    My Mom and dad are slit.I had my bff Ali will me.My Mom has a lot of boy(gender)friends.I think she still sad about her break up will my dad.My dad has had a friend Ali’s mother.They are cheap so I donot know if Ali mom is dating my dad they have kiss once.I love ali we are joking and staying ali is like a sitter . Kim ali mom is look for a big house . for all of us .

  20. carter said on May 7, 2012 at 5:20 pm ... #

    me my dad my sitter and my brother
    there mom brother ali

  21. Katie said on May 21, 2012 at 3:39 pm ... #

    My mom filed for divorce in December and began seeing a co-worker by January. She felt guilty about it so tried to cover it up to my brother and I, but we finally confronted her about it in March. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough for her, that she’d rather leave us at home on a Saturday night to see him than take us out to dinner. On my birthday, we went out to dinner rather early for us…at 5:30…and on the way home she admitted she was going to see Peter at 8. Now she told me she bought tickets to a theatre for them to see this theatre’s monthly “reader’s theatre,” which used to be OUR thing but she didn’t think of me, she thought of him.

  22. Katey said on May 28, 2012 at 9:55 pm ... #

    My dad died this past October my mom is telling me that the guy she is seeing is just her friend but a week ago I could hear them having sex. I told my mom I didn’t feel comfortable with her doing that in my dads house but she blew me off. What do I do. I like the guy but I think they r moving too fast.

  23. mahoganytene said on June 27, 2012 at 5:22 pm ... #

    My Father passed in 2008. My parents were married for over 20 years, so it has always been mom and dad. My mom was recently hooked up by my cousin a month ago. My mother at first told us she wasn’t taking the guy serious, he is just a friend, and she was just going to take it slow. But, we have seen this man four times since she’s met him a month ago, and she even invited him to spend the night at our house. I personally have some concerns, as the man has certain issues of his own. I have advised my mother to take it slow and REALLY get to know the man before deciding on a relationship, but she disregards my advice because I am her child. Recently, I was coming from out of town and there were all these people at my house. When I walked in the door, i asked my mother what was going on, and she said nothing, mind you there was wine, party platters, etc. Then a few minutes later, the guy she has been seeing a month walks in. She threw a party so her friends could meet him. I felt very deceived by her because she never told me and apparently never had the intention of telling me. this has caused a huge strain in our relationship, and I’ve been crying everyday. Any advice?

  24. tamy said on July 7, 2012 at 12:05 pm ... #

    my mom left my dad abt 1½ years ago.early this week I noticed she has a password for her texts,I cracked her code and went through them,turns out she’s dating some guy!!argh!!she even has pics of herself and him together!!this is the 2nd time…its sooooo annoying if she wants to replace my dad why can’t she just say it??+the way she treats me she gives me every reason to hate her every single day+I think I’m adopted.how I wish I was adopted.or an orphan either would be ok.

  25. Anonymous said on July 26, 2012 at 9:51 pm ... #

    My parents split up about a year ago and I’m so stressed, my mom found a new boyfriend and I don’t like him. And one time she left my sister brother and I to go stay in a hotel room, she obviously did it with him. And Everytime I think about it I get angry. I cut myself over it and all this drama, and I get angry easily so now I go to therapy. But I feel bad because I never see my dad alot as I used to. And it just bothers me, my mom tells me stuff and I just get more angry to the point where we are always fighting. I wish my parents would get back together, I guess I want them to be happy, but I’m not happy:(

  26. Alisha - HelloGrief said on July 29, 2012 at 9:31 am ... #

    To the anonymous poster,

    Thank you for sharing with us some of your struggles since your parents split up. We hope that your therapist is helping you find ways to positively cope with your anger as well as the other feelings that you are experiencing. It can be really helpful to have someone outside of your immediate family to help you figure out what is best for you.

    Take care.

  27. Anon said on August 23, 2012 at 3:02 pm ... #

    My dad is seeing someone who is a “friend” I am not happy and in fact i am very displeased. I know this is the best for him and i don’t feel like he is replacing my mother, why would he.. she is crazy.

    What bugs me is the secrecy. The beginning and then the never ending of this divorce. Angering and upsetting, i could practically take my car and live in it.
    My mother said he cheated, cheated on her with a man.. but he has a lady “Friend”
    i can’t tell if this is after or before
    but what i want is the damn truth
    and that is all i ask for

  28. Emily said on August 27, 2012 at 9:08 pm ... #

    My mum and dad have been divorced for seven odd years, my dad has had many different relationships within this time. None of them have really bothered me at all because i dont see my dad often. He is now getting married and I am not invited to the wedding which doesnt really surprise me because he is a self centered and horrible person. But the thing im very much upset about is my mum. I had so much respect for her because through the whole time that they were apart she always said that she would never bring a man into our house unless me and my brother and sister where comfortable. This really only lasted a few years because my mum met this man via Facebook who was about 3 hours away from us and they started a very odd relationship were she would go down to his house for days on end then come back home. Then this man came up to where we lived to stay and at first he was alright but he and my mum were PDA-ing all over the joint which made me and my siblings all very uncomfortable. Then my mum changed everything about her personality and began lying about things she liked and agreeing with everything he said. Then her partner began to go on at my mum for hours about how terrible we were as children and my mum just sat there and nodded and didnt even care and then one day he calls her fat and the relationship was over. This lasted on and off again for about three years. Because of this me and mum would argue a lot because of the way she treated us and would scream at us even if we mentioned him. They have only been broken up a few months but she has met someone else. They have been texting for about a week and told me that she was going out with her friends for the evening. We had a long talk that lasted throughout the day about this man and about if she were to go into another relationship that it would have to be with honesty and she would have to put us, as her children first. About thirty minutes before she was going to leave the house to go out with her friends she decides to tell me a “secret”. She told me that she wasnt actually going out with her friends but with this man whom she has only met once. Obviously I was VERY upset considering our conversation a few hours pior. She then told us that she would be home by 1230 at the latest, that time has been and gone by a very long shot.
    I feel that after what happened with my dad and the way that he has treated me and my siblings my mum would have the sense to give us a break but apparently not………

  29. lisa said on September 3, 2012 at 12:40 am ... #

    My mom has started to date or thats a least what I call it she calls it nothing. To me if your texting, calling. and seeing him your dating and she has kiss him. My dad died a 1 year ago and it seem like yesterday, I feel worried sometimes I find myself stress out about it. They met at walgreen if that is even true to me my mom lyes sometimes and I have a hard time trusting her. I know its bad to wish this but sometimes I wish he would go somewhere else and find another woman with 4 kids. We got enough to worry about and it shouldn’t be him she has school and everthing else. So what should I do I really want to track him down and throw him in the dirt.

  30. Skylar said on September 27, 2012 at 9:07 pm ... #

    My mom and dad got divourced when I was in 6th grade I’m in 10th grade now. My dad has been dating this girl for the past few months which I don’t mind because I’m comfortable around her most likely because she is a girl. My mom is young and called me in her room tonight saying that tomorrow on my little sisters birthday she wanted us to meet a guy she went out on a few dates with she says he is nice and it is nothing serious at all but I have a hard time believing that because everyone says that even in the movies. My mom really only had one serious boyfriend in her life which was my dad and she met him when she was 18 and was married to him and had 2 kids with him by the age of 22. She says she just wants to know If we are comfortable around him and I don’t know if I will be because I just don’t want my mom getting hurt she is a nice successful smart human being but I don’t want her to change she says she doesn’t think about getting married again but I don’t believe that either because I mean come on everyone wants someone she says she is just happy with us 3 girls. My problem is if what happens If my sisters like him but I don’t or we don’t like him but she doesn’t listen or it becomes one of those terrible my mom gets hurt and I have to pick up the pieces mother daughter relationship I love my mom but what happens if she gets hurt or I’ve turns out not being as nice as I thought. I want her to be happy I mean I turning 16 in 6 months so in 3 school years I’ll be in college but still idk If she’ll be married by then so If aw gets married after I’m out of the house I don’t care but it’s like I’m 15 and what If he turns out to be one of guys who know what I’m talking about i know I’m thinking of the worst but seriously I’m nervous about meeting him tomorrow an I have two younger sisters to think about one is is turning 14 tomorrow and another who is 10 they are going to like anyone they meet me I have experience with guys who are jerks I want my mom to be happy but it’s hard for me to think of her loving any other guy than my dad and it’s been 4 years and I’m the oldest I could only imagine how my sisters are going to feel.

  31. Anonny said on November 4, 2012 at 12:01 am ... #

    I dont have my own phone so i use my moms i looked thru it bcuz i was textin and I came across some messages of her. she messaged this guy i heard of cuz i think he was one of her old friends and i just recently lost my dad this past september. i feel like she spiteful and that she hiding things from me. tonite i called and she saed she still at work i felt she was trying to rush me off the phone becuz she probbly not even at work cuz she never stay this late. What should i do i’m going crazy and im so angry.

  32. william said on November 15, 2012 at 8:23 pm ... #

    Well my dad dyed in in 2011 in may but in 2012 I found out that my mom has a bf now and they’ve been datin 4 2 months and some odd days an I really don’t like this guy I pretend I do becuz I want my mom to be happy. today I went threw her messeges and she went over there lastnite :-\

  33. Mary Sol said on November 28, 2012 at 10:16 pm ... #

    My family is dysfunctional. Love never seems to pull through. My grandparents who I see frequently are divorced, yet they still live together. My grandfather sometimes abuses my grandmother when he doesn’t take his meds. He yells at her and tends to go so far as to break a few family portraits and leave for days without mentioning where he’s going.

    I’m 14, and my parents separated two years ago. It was a nasty break-up. They yelled at each other, they threw priceless memories (framed pics of marriage) at each other, they even threw some of my siblings’ stuff that was breakable. (I have two; brother is 9, sister is 6.) It became so disruptive, I think the neighbors called the cops.

    My mind was a mess. I had to keep telling myself that this is normal, that all married couples go through this phase, but I knew it wasn’t. He moved out within a week, and we’ve rarely seen him since. They never made the divorce official; they couldn’t afford it, I guess. They already decided on it awhile ago, I found out months after he was gone for good.

    They fought about money. They always had. When my dad got laid-off, it started worsening. I was young and didn’t understand at the time, so of course I was scared and frightened by the tension between the two of them.

    What bothers me now is her frequent outings. Recently my mom has been going out 10x as much as she did when she and my dad were still together. I just overheard her conversation with one of her friends about “him making me wait until 9:30.” I mean, you have to be kidding me. She hasn’t even tried to talk to me about it, which pisses me off.

    This effects me too, you know. I had a very close bond with my dad. He was my role model; I take after him. Sometimes, my mom and I would get into these stupid spats and she would say “just like your dad.” It sickens me when I hear that. It offends me, too.

    I’m an emotional wreck right now. I don’t know who this “he” is, I don’t know where my mom goes, and I think she’s lying when she tells me it’s just one of her girl friends. I’m willing myself not to go overboard about confronting her about this. I’m unhappy, but that doesn’t mean I have to take away her chance of being happy again.

    I hope someone could lend me a bit of advice after I post this. I’m just…really confused at how to deal/approach my mom with this. I can’t stress how confused I am.

  34. Grace said on December 8, 2012 at 1:00 am ... #

    Mary Sol,
    Hi, im 18, and my parents have been going through a nasty divorce for about 1 year now. Its still not even finalized. And I found out that my mom has been dating someone for about six months, and I still technically don’t know. She does the same thing, calls her girlfriends to gush, but won’t tell me a thing! I want more than anything for her to be happy again. But at the same time, why wouldn’t she include me, you know? I feel very confused too. And honestly, even I don’t know what to do to help. But I understand why she’s doing this, and after that it gave me piece of mind. Our moms are not telling us because they think that we are scared, that we won’t handle this change well, that we might become attached or even worse hate her new boyfriend, she doesn’t want to seem like a bad mom for introducing us to early if it doesn’t work out. So in her mind, hiding it, seems like the best idea, and she doesn’t see it as lying, but more protecting us. Even though it may not be true. Yet even understanding it, doesn’t really help that much when she’s on the phone with the “him” I don’t know. I would like to say that confronting her is the best idea, but if I (you) do, I think about how she might act, she could become very sad, and feel hurt, and like a bad mom. I wouldn’t want to make her feel like that. Which is why the best advice, and probably most painful, is to wait until she says something. That way you won’t be put in an akward position. But no matter what, she loves you, and would probably do anything to make you happy. You’re her number one priority (at least thats how I feel), but at the same time, usually when my moms happy, it makes me happier; and sometimes she’s got to do something for herself.

    Hope this helps a tad, like I said, I’m still going through the same situation and I don’t have the real right answer, I came searching too. But sometimes, at least I think, it helps to know that others are going through it too.

  35. Anonymous said on January 2, 2013 at 5:17 pm ... #

    My mum has been divorced twice, once from my dad when i was about 3 then from my step-dad when i was about 11. About two years ago she started going out with this guy, he had two kids and seemed like a nice man, but about a year after they were dating he broke up with my mum. She was heartbroken and i was hurt, he had left just like the others. But a few weeks later she blindly accepted him back into her life. From then on i couldn’t understand their relationship, why did she take him back? From then on i never liked him and my mum knew that and he did but they seemed to dismiss it. I was just about warming up to him when he broke up with her again. I spent ages talking to her, making her feel better and i finally thought we had got past him and she was okay but they’ve just recently got back in contact. I hate it. She met up with him behind my back with my two little sisters and his kids and now were all meeting up next month. I don’t think i can face him after all hes done to tear the family apart. It looks like they will get back together but i don’t understand why my mum cant see all hes done to us? when he is around i seem to vanish and if they do get back together i wont be able to cope. someone give me advice?

  36. Genevieve said on January 19, 2013 at 7:41 pm ... #

    To all of you who posted here, my heart goes out to you. You are trying to parent your parents! Instead of them waiting up for YOU to come home from your date, you are waiting up for them! You are trying to fill the place where an adult should be stepping up and protecting YOU. I’m sorry that you have to be in that position.

    However, the healthiest thing to do, is to stop trying to be the adult to your parent. Get some counseling if you can’t get your mind off your parent’s activities — talk to a counselor at school or ask your parent to get you into counseling. You will soon be an adult and need to understand yourself and your emotions.

    It is also true that your parents are not trying to “lie” to you, but protect you from their activities, because they know things may not work out — but they are willing to take the risk for themselves, just not for their children. Just give them their space and respect their privacy, just as you would want them to do to you.

    Divorce/Death is extremely hard to begin with and then when a parent is looking for someone to complete them, it feels very threatening to the children. It’s natural for your parents to want to have a partner. You can’t control your parents, so try to take care of yourself and don’t let yourself become consumed by your parents’ behavior. Focus on your own life and your emotions and relationships and your goals.

    You are strong and caring people. Stay open and honest and look for supportive people you can talk to. Don’t try to carry this heartache alone. Reach out — get some help.

  37. Confused said on February 2, 2013 at 9:23 am ... #

    I am 15 And have a dad who started dating After my parents got a divorce. My mom also dates but it seems a little less uncomfortable than my dad dating. My dads girlfriends ex was beating her son and threatening him because the son knew the ex was cheating on his mom. She is a really big churchgoer but i dont know what to think should i like her or not? I am afraid she is getting all the attention away from me and mu two brothers!

  38. Lori said on February 11, 2013 at 7:53 pm ... #

    This year I’m turning 13. But, before I was born, my second sister was born(obviously). She died from falling off a high chair, and my mother was devastated. Soon, she divorced my dad from her deep tragic sadness. Which, btw, has always been hard for me, since I have such a strong connection with my dad. Twelve years later, which is now, 2013, my mom is starting to date this really old-looking guy, who interrupts what Im saying, and I try to tell my mom that I really am not ready for a man, and at first she totally understood, but now she’s gotten so connected that I dont think she’ll ever listen to my thoughts ever again. I especially hate it when they kiss in front of me(it gets quiet and I walk in on them very often). He’s so WRONG for her, and I feel like if I say anything my mom will just criticize and get mad at me all over again. I feel such angst, such grief, and I’m so unsure of what to do about this situation. I mean, am I being too clingy? I never know what to say to her anymore, without out her flipping out at me, or my siblings. Please help!

  39. Seth Blackman said on February 21, 2013 at 9:25 pm ... #

    so my parents just got divorced, and i was like, ok… but then my mom told me that she and my friend’s mom(also just divorced) are you know… girlfriend and girlfriend. and now i’m really confused, not sure what to say or do. can someone help me get over/through this?

  40. Enallia said on June 28, 2013 at 6:02 pm ... #

    I’m 15 years old. My was a police officer and killed in the line of duty when I was 3. I’ve grown up my whole life not having a father figure and I was okay with that. I did NOT want one unless it was my daddy. My mom started dating when I was 13 I suppose. I hated it. She brought one guy home. He’d sleep in our house and stuff. A few months ago they got engaged. I was and am furious. How could she do this?? She never ONCE prepared us for it ( 5 kids ). He makes me very uncomfortable. I don’t know why. I do not trust him at all. Especially with my mom. But I guess she loves him. I don’t even know. Ever since he came around my mom started to keep alcohol in her room. She got a little refrigerator in there and stores her drinks in it. I even found a casino card in her purse. I am a Christian and was brought up in a Christian home. I’ve grown up being told that gambling in wrong…but yet she’s doing it. I feel like they’ve done inappropriate things…like sexual before marriage. No I don’t have proof but every time I see them together I get this blood boiling anger in me that makes me want to cry and hit that man. I’ve honestly never been so desperate. I want him gone. I don’t want the wedding to go on. If I does I don’t want to be in it. If they move I do not want to go with them. Please please help me. I’m begging you. Someone help me.
    Kik: nana096
    Email: ebeverly096@gmail.com
    Thank you
    – Enallia

  41. margaret said on July 12, 2013 at 9:53 pm ... #

    I’m 13 and my mom recently started dating again. My mom and dad split up when I was around 8, I’m not bothered that my dad doesn’t live with us but when my mom got a boyfriend I didn’t even want to know her. Its been a while since my mom and dad split up but it seems to me the only person that should be with my mom is my dad but my mom doesn’t see that,I just don’t think its right? Am I being unreasonable?

  42. Season said on November 24, 2013 at 7:34 pm ... #

    My mum and dad broke up when I was at the age of 4, my mum cheated on my father which I found out 3 years ago (age of 12/13) and dad decided to move to somewhere else and always told me it was for me to get a better education somewhere else because the area we lived in was rough. He always told me I had to go to university have a good job. He always seemed to care. He was bit strict, for silly reasons… He always got my hopes up, all I ever wanted was to make him proud… When I was 13 I moved to a different county to live with my uncle’s ex wife which I lived with for a year at the age of 9/10. She saw me as a daughter and cared for me… Then my dad decided to get married. The person he married seemed really nice, and I thought finally I could have a mother-figure. She had another daughter who is now just turned 13. He had been married for a year now. When the woman he married moved in with dad (and her daughter) I had to also move in with him. I left all my friends and my uncle’s ex wife who was now a mother figure to me and I could trust her with anything. I knew she loved me. When I moved my step mum seemed alright at first, but after a couple of months she seemed not to care. I could not talk to her about things, I couldn’t cuddle her, and do activities with her. However, when my dad was at work I felt left out. Her and her daughter always cuddled made jokes, spoke about things but she seemed purposely cold to me. I didn’t do anything about it. Later on she started doing things on purpose such as getting me in trouble when I got a little bit moody. However, her when her daughter swore at her, shouted at her, back chatted to her she would not tell my father to keep her away from trouble. She started giving her lots of money, every change she had, and I had non out of it. I still didn’t do anything about it. I carried on with my life. And when I first moved here I got bullied, unlike my old school when I lived with my uncle’s ex I was a popular liked girl. Just as I was starting to have friends every time my step sister or her mum got me in trouble and my dad would stop me talking to my friends. For example when my bestest friend called my dad cute as a joke my step mum started making it a big deal and playing as if she would break up with my dad therefore, dad banned me from speaking to her. Once my 12 year old step sister got drunk with my friends, when we had a little bit, and she was smashed she blamed my friend and told my dad that it was her who had given her the drink, but it was certainly not. I also got banned from talking to her. Then came more bullying. My step sister started getting in trouble with the police, having fights and getting excluded, but she would not get grounded or anything such as that. Even so, if she got 19 out of 20 in her spelling test in school for example my father would make himself look as if he’s so happy, and proud. When I got an A in one of my assessments and told him he said “okay, its only religious education.” I was really hurt. I tried to make him proud every time, I started working really hard in school but he just did not care. He wouldn’t ask me how I’m doing in school, who my friends are or what I’ve been up to. But when he found out one of my friends were a bad influence he would say to me “all your friends are bad friends” and when I wanted to go out he would sometimes let me and sometimes say “no, you have bad friends” he would say this randomly. Because I was getting bullied and I tried standing up to it people spreaded rumours about me around town, and instead of my dad talking to me he would randomly bring it up and say “no one likes you in this town” or something similar to that sentence. At the same time my step mother was still being difficult… If I wanted to go out and my bedroom wasn’t tidy she would tell me to do it, when I did it and my jacket was hanging by my bedside she would say “its not quite done” and when my step sister had to go out all she did was do her bed and she would have no troubles at all. One day I was watching a movie and she didn’t say anything to me, when my dad came home she said “hilal take the tv to your bedroom its too noisy I can’t stand it anymore, I’m sick of it.” I said “okay” and taken it to my bedroom to watch it. However the next day her daughter was watching a movie and she did not complain. And the day after that she was watching a movie herself with a full volume. I didn’t say anything. Whenever I tried talking to dad about things he had an excuse for everything. All he had told me was “your step mum only does get moody because you don’t listen to her.” Or “she’s afraid of your reaction if she tried to get closer to you” or “she just wants you to keep your room tidy and respect her.” However, I didn’t see it that way… Dad worked till late hours so he did not know what was going on at home. I tried talking to him again but this time he said something that really made me hate him, and sink the love I had for him. “I lost my hopes in you. The town knows you changed, everyone thinks you’re a slag. No one loves you anymore. I don’t love you as much as I used to, ofcourse you’re my daughter but that’s why I have to look after you.” He said this whilst looking me straight in the eye, I cried so much inside! It felt as if my heart fell out of my buttom. The dad I known had changed, my only hopes in life, my inspiration, the man who helped me through life, my hero. He was gone! I knew I had lost him. I don’t know what to do?! I can’t move back with my auntie until I am 16 I am in year 10 and if I move now I will have to repeat year 10 again… I can’t move with my mum either because she does not care about me. She abandoned me and didn’t want me when her and dad broke up. I’ve recently found out that dad moved because where we used to live everyone gossiped about him being cheated on. He didn’t move for me, he moved for himself! All my hopes had gone down! I couldn’t even trust him anymore because everytime I told him something he told his wife… I’m lost.

  43. Sonia said on November 25, 2013 at 4:10 pm ... #

    This isn’t one of the best years for me. My parents separated since I was 8yrs old and finally got divorced just last year. I remember thinking that it was the worst thing that happened to me because it was like loosing everything I knew as a child. family. this year my mom started dating a doctor one year younger than her and he is such a creep. The first convo I had with him was bad and i just got so angry. and now after 7 years my dad started seeing this lady who lives in Indonesia! A different country. I’ve never even met her. my dad is like 57 and my mom is 39 so I was glade they divorced because they are 18 years apart! And now this Indonesian lady my dad is seding is said to be about 18-20 years younger then my dad! So creepy! And I refuse to visit my mother because that creep moved into my moms house and it just doesnt feel like home anymore. My daf on the other hand has now became more sensitive and more … like u know when a woman is on her period crazy attitude.I’m now currently hating both my parents. I wish I was 18 and could drive and have my own apartment. I just want to runaway. I dont think my parent know how i feel about them both dating people at the same time and its just a lot for me to take in all at once. I try to tell them but it seems like they’re always too busy for my or my little brother and when I do try to tell my father, he gets mad and doesnt understand my perspective of things. What should I do :(

  44. Laurie said on December 20, 2013 at 8:17 pm ... #

    I’m 12 turning 13, and my birth dad died in a car chrash when I was 2. My mom got remarried, but divorced 3 years ago. She’s datinng another guy, and I don’t like it at all. My mom is clearly trying to forget who she really loved: Daddy! It’s bad enough that he died, worse that I can;t talk to my mom.

  45. Anna said on January 6, 2014 at 11:30 am ... #

    hi im anna im 10. about 3 months ago i accedentily looked at my mums phone and it came up with looking foward to seeing you tonight. i was very worried and scared it broke my heart to see my mum was going out with another man and I’m still very upset.it started leading on to self harm and then i stoped it.i know my dad is still alive but lives by himself and is very lonely,i dont care if my dad gets a girlfriend but its just ive met the man and i dont like him at all.My mum spends more time on her phone then with me and my siblings.she always going out and i bearly do anything with her i dont like where i live and i dont get on with my family except my dad and my sister.i was thinking about moving in with my dad.i dont know what to do please help me :( ((((

  46. Christy said on January 29, 2014 at 5:40 pm ... #

    Reading a lot of the stories of children that have lost a parent really helped me understand my situation. My bf and I have been together little over 2 years and he lost his wife going on 4 years ago. We have had our struggles but have stood by each other through it all. I have 2 children (I am divorced) as does he. One of our biggest struggles is his girls and I don’t mean in a bad way, I love them both very much yet they are still grieving and I assume always will be. We have been very sensitive to the kids but the last couple months we over stepped their boundaries by me staying over more and its caused a lapse. The oldest is 16 and even though cares for me it hurts her to see her dad with anyone. My boyfriend is torn and said its not fair to me that he loves me so much but he doesn’t want his daughter resenting him, we have taken steps back and even though he feels bad about it I only see him when his kids won’t see me, (after bed time, etc) its not the ideal relationship but I love him very much and I love the girls and don’t want them hurt. When I have consoled in friends they are heartless and tell me the kids are using it as an excuse and they need to suck it up but I say have you lost a parent and theirs was very long sad 5 years of watching their mom die from cancer. There has been times I get upset but in my heart I know he loves me or I wouldn’t still be in the picture. So we are giving his girls the space they need and praying it all works out! (my kids aren’t as exposed to our relationship as the go see their father on weekends however they really like my bf and his girls a lot) Unless you have ever lost a parent, especially as a young child I don’t think you (I know I won’t)what that loss is like and as the adult you need to let them know you are always there for them and the girls even talk with me about their mom which I feel very honored because she seems like she was a wonderful mother and the wonderful girls she has is a reflection of that and if I have the privilege of forever being in their lives I will always help keep their moms memory alive.

  47. Anonymous said on February 10, 2014 at 5:58 pm ... #

    My dad died about 4 years ago of cancer. My mom loved him so much and cried constantly. She took forever to slow the grief down. Then about 1 year and a half later, she says she wants to start dating. That came as a complete shock to me. I cried a lot and told her I didn’t want her to, that I wasn’t ready. But she did it anyway, saying she would kind of hide it until I was ready. I became paranoid. I saw emails from match.com and emails from guys I didn’t know. I was so sad and cried myself to sleep. I wasn’t ready for it.
    Then, on an amazing spring break trip, she told me there was a special guy. She said they’ve been dating for 3months, and I just asked all these questions. I cried for the whole entire trip. I tried to do anything I could to slyly get her away from her phone so she wouldn’t text. I saw texts from him, even though she was hiding it and using a texting app with a lock, which made it worse. I found her in the morning under her covers talking on the phone to him. She told me sometimes that she wouldn’t have done this if she knew how much it was going to hurt me. She said she woud change it if she had a magic wand. But she DID have it. She could change it all but she picked him and herself over me. I talked to my frineds, but they all told me to try to accept it. But it’s against my beliefs. I believe in one love. After a year of us fighing and getting torn apart, she told me he broke up with her in an awful way, and I started crying again. (I cry a lot). I never wanted her to get hurt. She said she wouldn’t date again, unless maayybbbee her bf came back. I thought those chances were nonexistent. Then I started seeing texts and she was hiding stuff again. I didn’t want to say anything though, because I didn’t want to break out bubble. But then on a perfect day of us baking and laughing, she sits me down and tells me he crawled back and explained why he broke up with her. And she took him back. I was devastated. She said she wouldn’t hide it this time. I asked what would happen if they broke up again, and she said we’ll see when we get there. But I don’t think she thinks they’re going to break up. I now see texts openly that make me uncomrfortable, and I am constantly distracted by it. My grades are dropping and I’m not sleeping as much. She is going on a date soon and she told me openly. At night, I can’t sleep and I come up to see her with fake complaints to stop her from calling him. I feel so sad and distracted and hurt. If she loved my dad as much as she says she does, why does she need someone else? Isn’t the love for him still existant, even though he is physically gone? I still love him, so why doesn’t she? Or why isn’t that enough for her to go on? I am so lost.

  48. anon said on February 15, 2014 at 5:26 pm ... #

    Hey,
    I’m 17 and my mum died when I was 9 exactually 1 week before my 10th birthday she had everything ready and planned for my birthday and was jus as excited as me! Her oldest child was turning into her double didgets but sadly my mum never made it to see my birthday! A couple of months after my mum died my dad met a new women and moved her rinto the house and they got engaged she turnt out to be a nasty women who was horrible to my little brother who is 5 years younger than me and my little sister who is 3 years younger than me! My dad never found out about this untill after they broke up a few years later, however everytime my dad gets a new girlfriend now I panic and get scared incase she turns out to be the same I make excuses not to meet them as I no longer live with my dad, my dad is upset about this because he wants my approval for his new girlfriends but I don’t want to give my approval because I feel like I’m going agains my mum and betraying her because of this me and my dad hardly talk anymore and when we do we mainly just argue so now I feel like I have lost more than just one of my parents! Obviously I can’t expect my dad to stay single forever because he would get lonely as he lives alone now but the thought of him being with another women other than my mum loving another women and planning to spend his life with another women upsets me because I know if my mum was here he would still be with her! But at the same time I know I’m being selfish and I should want my dad to be happy

  49. Alice said on March 2, 2014 at 4:30 pm ... #

    Recently, about 8 years after my dad’s death, my mum has been talking about seeing someone new. She told me that all this time she’s felt lonely and wanted companionship but never told me because it would be too much of a burden… I’m really sad about it because I thought maybe she would want to be with someone but didn’t imagine her to be lonely, I just thought it was something that wasn’t really very important to her.

    Looking on this page has really helped me because I’ve been really uncomfortable with the thought of my mum with anyone but my dad. I also said some pretty mean things to her to try and stop her from dating anyone else, I just got carried away and now I feel awful. I don’t want to have my mum bringing anyone she’s dating back to our house, that would really be outside of my comfort zone.

    Good luck to anyone our there who’s having problems with their parents dating new people, I’m in the same boat as you.

  50. michelle madiba said on March 23, 2014 at 2:11 pm ... #

    i have 2 little sisters,my mom is raising us by herself.she is dating another mam,at first i was ok with it because he didnt live with us.but now he is coming here often and my mom always changes i dont know why.my mom always treats him like he is the king of the house,and he gets angry over small things.my mom would borrow him money but she cant even buy me things i need.she always talks about him. But i cant talk to her about the how i feel.since i m the oldest and me and my sister have separate fathers, she would refer me to my deadbeat daddy whenever i need her to buy me somthing. i feel like she regrets me for being her daughter,everytime i see him that pain in my heart arises and i get angry .

  51. Bob said on March 26, 2014 at 7:42 pm ... #

    My mom died two years ago and now my dad is trying to date and I don’t want him to and if he gays married I will lose a lot of pro aligned like playing xbox whenever and I will have to share everything I have with her nees and nefu.

  52. RW&AW said on March 30, 2014 at 9:28 pm ... #

    this is how I feel when my mom started dating I felt alone and that I would not have anyone to talk to I would just keep everything bottled up and ready to pop then my mom started dating this one guy she was so happy I couldn’t tell what I felt then after six months of dating they wanted to live together but I didn’t want to go to a different school plus he had a Daughter she was nice & sweet but I didn’t want to leave so I talked to my mom and my older sister and they said that It would be a great thing but I kept thinking the were just making accuses but it turns out that everyone in the world does the same thing so now I am just trying to keep a positive attitude.

  53. RW said on March 30, 2014 at 9:34 pm ... #

    I feel like my dad doesn’t listen to me anymore like he is in a different dimension….stuck in love world always listening to his wife/girlfriend they got together 6 months ago as u have heard my sister say and just like she said I practically have another family but I love them I love my brother my sisters and my stepmom its just a little too soon but that’s how life is all we can do at this point is roll with the flow………hope it works out!

  54. Colby said on April 12, 2014 at 11:22 pm ... #

    My parents got divorced about 4 years ago and it is really herd on me. I am 13 and I don’t see my dad much so I really miss him. I feel like I need him more than ever now. My mom just started dating again and I feel like she is trying to replace him. It is really hard because I always fake a smile and sometimes I cry myself to sleep.

  55. Can u guess said on April 17, 2014 at 9:28 pm ... #

    My mom died when I was a 9 year old 3rd grader U hid all my sadness and I regret it now.My dad started dating a year ago and I’ve never not once liked the person who he dates. Now we lost a lot of money. He is never home and has started taking down all of my moms pictures. Some want to write if your in the same shoes it would help me a lot??????

  56. annonymous said on April 25, 2014 at 2:41 pm ... #

    My mum and dad split up about 5 years ago during that time he went to a diffrent country but I still had contact with him also my mum was dating this guy that my sisters and brother never really knew and at first he used to just come for dinner and know he has his own key and since then my my has been going to parties and clubs and leaving my sisters and my alone till 7 or even 8 in the morning she never really took us out for a family meal she spends all her time with him and were just at home.when my dad came back I was very happy to see someone who accually cares about me here. Me and my dad sister and I bonded very well and my mum let him until my mum and my dad had and argument and she said to him that I should not speak,see or talk to him again but the argument didn’t involve me.so now I want to talk to my mum about me moving in with my dad but I am scared she will do something she already pushed my whole family away what is she going to do now

  57. Anon said on May 5, 2014 at 6:23 pm ... #

    Passed 1 hour since i started reading these comments i feel like most of the people here i know the feeling so my heart goes out for all of you. About 4 months ago my mom said from nothing that she thinks to split up (20 years of marriage) i asked her if she is sure about this and did she thought this good she said yes and i agreed with her (my dad wasn’t nice to her nor to me so 2 months later (april 2014) we moved out to my grandparents house. 1 month everything was ok (but i was suspicious)and now 6th of may i entered her room in 11:45 PM and saw and heard her talking to a man deep inside i was about to explode but i kept cool and asked her nicely if she is seeing this guy she denied but i dont believe her i know this is biological thing to look for another mate and to reproduce but we talked so much about telling almost everything to each other and now she talking to a guy without even telling me later tonight at 12:20 i heard her text message sound and i am furious because she said she is gonna sleep and she texts now and by reading all these comments i am getting worried i really don’t know what to do just turned 18 and i feel the whole pressure of the world is on me i thought of suicide but that’s not why i am here for so i am at a dead end. Going to my dad’s house is not an option because he moved to a different country.

  58. no name 23 said on May 5, 2014 at 8:12 pm ... #

    My mom and dad never had a good relationship. When they got divorced it wasn’t the loss of my dad I felt but the loss of my mom.I am 17 what should I care that she dates its none of my business right? BUT… I can’t help it it bothers me. I want to be happy for her and supportive but I’m just not. I guess I don’t feel like her dating is coming from the right place. She is just experimenting her new life with out kids but just cause dad is gone..I mean we’re still here.

  59. Aurora said on May 6, 2014 at 1:10 am ... #

    Mom died when I was two, I’m 18 now. The other girls my dad dated were nice, but I knew it wouldn’t last. It wasn’t awkward around them. Now, he’s dating this girl. She has two kids. We don’t hang out anymore, and every time we talk it just turns into fighting. We’re working all the time and when I try to hang out he just invites his girlfriend. I don’t know what to do, am I just over reacting or am I onto something for feeling awkward around them? I don’t hate her. I just don’t know her. And he yells way too much when we talk about her.

  60. Jessica said on May 10, 2014 at 11:35 am ... #

    Dear whoever reads this,
    I need help with coping. My parents have been divorced for seven years now, and I am about to graduate from high school in a few weeks. My father lives across the country from me, and he has been dating a woman for a few months now, but it doesn’t bother me because he’s so far away and it’s almost like a fake relationship to me. I understand why he would date, seeing as how he’s so far away from us, of course he would be lonely and want love. But my mom on the other hand has started dating a man a few months ago, and it really bothers me. Maybe just because she lives with us that it bothers me, or maybe because this is her first boyfriend since my Dad, and I am used to the comfort of just her and me and my brother; I don’t know. He is a nice guy and all and he’s good and respectful to my mom. They don’t engage in any sexual activity, which is a relief for me. But I can’t help feeling so angry when he’s around or when she spends her days off of work to go visit him all day; when she used to just be with my brother and I. I know I’m being incredibly selfish, but my heart is just in so much pain and I don’t know how to numb it away. I just wish I didn’t have to think or deal with this whole “dating” issue so it would never bother me.
    Tomorrow is mother’s Day and I was all excited to make my mom some awesome lunch or dinner (which probably would’ve tasted bad anyway because I suck at cooking), but she told me yesterday that she was going over to her boyfriends house to spend it with his mom and maybe get my grandma to go too. It is such a nice sentiment, really, but I just cannot feel happy no matter how hard I try!
    I had told her I didn’t want to go, and she asked me, “You don’t want to spend Mother’s Day with your own MOTHER?” Of course I said “No. You’re spending it with MICHAEL,” because I was all mad by that point, but I feel so torn. I would LOVE to spend Mother’s Day with my mom, but I don’t want to ever have to be at HIS house with HIM. I feel like such a brat, but all these suppressed feelings after all these years towards the divorce are exploding out of my control. Please, I really want my parents to be truly happy and never cry any more, but I just can’t feel happy for them about this. I need help.

  61. Sarah said on May 25, 2014 at 11:08 pm ... #

    My moms been dating this guy for 6 years I don’t mind it we all get along and stuff I’m okay with my dad and her not being together but it just upsets me cause I know there adults so they “do it” but it makes me so angry I can’t even find the words, and I can’t say anything about it because there adults and that’s what they do and that’s there private BUISSNESS I get It but they act like I’m blind they will kick me out of the room in the middle of the day for “private time” cause I hangout with then everyday I mean the past 5-6 years I didn’t hang out with them everyday but I have the past year and they spend every second with each other and they act like I don’t know like they team up on me all the time I just feel like she thinks about his needs rather than hanging out with me I know I want her to be happy but when they kick me out to do that stuff or I’m always afraid or paranoid they “do it” and then like a half hour later I go and hang out with. Them it’s disrespectful I’ve even heard the bed creak like 10 times in a row two nights in a row I was SO MAD and I couldn’t do anything about it

  62. Anonymous said on June 15, 2014 at 6:20 pm ... #

    Heyy guys… It took me three whole years and my mom has only Ben on one date but guess what! I stopped my mom! But my dad almost there I can just move on from him but I won’t cuz I trust his selection I just hope he dosent y’know do “it” U CAN DO IT! I’m all with u just remember you have a special bond with your parent that can’t be broken

  63. Anonymous said on June 15, 2014 at 10:44 pm ... #

    Oh no my mom just said she was making out with a guy when she was talking to her friends… I hate her now! This feeling just came to me like OMG!

  64. Anonymous said on June 16, 2014 at 2:15 am ... #

    Kk well we talked bout it turns out that was when she was 15

  65. Emilia said on June 17, 2014 at 8:50 am ... #

    My mum has a boyfriend and they kiss a lot and it makes me nearves because for me its like she is replacing my dad + (i hate the sound of kissing).

  66. Zeshan said on June 20, 2014 at 10:23 pm ... #

    I’m 12 years old. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 5. I didn’t talk, laugh, kiss, hug, or as much smile at my mom for about 3 months until she finally let me see my dad. They made up a schedule of what days they would take me. My mom stayed in the same house and got a new boyfriend very very quickly. Within the first two months of being together he moved in. Even back then I understood way more than everyone thought I did and thought they were moving way to fast. In the 6 years that he lived here I never really liked him at all. He wanted to be my friend but I never had wanted to be his. About 3 months ago they broke up. About 2 months ago my mom started dating someone else. After half a month he would sleep here 4 days a week and stay most of the day. After only being together for 2 months he is now fully moved in. I hate him. He talks way to much which is really annoying because I’m more of a thinker. He is always saying he wants to my friend-I don’t want to be his. He always wants to do stuff with me and my mom tells me I should but I don’t want to. He has a son of his own living at his ex girlfriend’s house and I always ask him why he never does stuff with him but he just wants to be with me instead. This guy is ruining my life. Every night when I’m trying to go to sleep I’ll hear them talking, which is so annoying because we have an old house that sound travels well through and he is a really loud person so I can never sleep. Every single day I actually just cry thinking about how my life is and how it’s only going to get worse. I’m always sad at home because he’s always there. There are some nights I’ll just wonder what I actually bother living for. What’s the point of life if it’s just going to be me being sad all the time?

  67. Mia said on July 26, 2014 at 1:22 am ... #

    My m died in november of 2012 a couple of days before my 12th birthday im 13 now and ive been really depressed i always break down and cry really bad over her and how she isnt here anymore. My dad and mom havent been together since i was 2 but he still lived with us because she had heart failure and he didnt want to leave knowing she was sick so he sated and took care of all of us. My mom dated people all the time and i was okay with it .i was really close with her she was my other half but my dad me and him rarely got along at all and still dont .earlier this year he started dating and the day i met her before i went out to eat with them i had a mental break down. It may seem selfish but i dont like him dating because i feel like he totally forgot about my mom and it hurts lnwoing that and they broke up. And now hes with some other woma and he wants me and my brother to meet her kids next week and i honeslty dont want to because i feel she would replace my mom in my dads heart it makes my depression worse not because hes daiting just because it makes it seem more real that my mom died. Ive already been in therapy for months now since i was diagnosed with depression and its been really hard to get through it i feel like i took it the hardest. About my moms death than anyone i break down all the time and i dont feel lile good things could happen to me anymore and i went through this time where i would cut and try to kill myself but i realized my famoly doesnt need to go through another death . And i always see myself getting more mad at my dad for little things like i saw on his facebooks messages he got my moms death year wrong and that made me so mad All in all i want him to be happy but i dont feel lile i can accept that he could find love with someone that isnt my mom ..

  68. Kaylah said on October 5, 2014 at 6:16 am ... #

    My mum and Dad broke up 1 year ago. But they aren’t divorced yet. My dad lives on the other side of Australia and me and my 3 siblings live with my mum. My dad still cares for my mum & I think my mum still cares for my dad but I really want them back together, I just can’t bare the thought of my mum with another guy. I just want my dad to be that guy!! I feel like I’m overreacting because I cry so much over this because I just recently found my mum on a dating website talking to guys. I really wanna read them but I know it will just make me more upset.
    I see some of my friends with parents that are divorced then remarried with another man/woman & they are happy but I just cannot bare the thought of my mum or dad with anyone but eachother.
    I get really anxious and scared that mum will get with someone else but I don’t know why!
    I want her to be happy, but I want her to be happy with my dad, not anyone else!!
    Mum and I aren’t that close but I really want to talk to her about it but I dont want her to get angry or upset with me.

    I cry so much over this situation & I’m 15!!

    What do I do!!

  69. Bella said on October 8, 2014 at 8:50 pm ... #

    My mom is dating this guy named Rodney he is very rude and thinks he knows it all he doesn’t like me I can tell but of course he would never say that to my mom but I don’t want them to get serious. My mom knows that I don’t like him I have done everything to get rid of him I moved out and said I wouldn’t come back until they were broken up and she didn’t care!! What’s embarrassing is that they are always all over each other and I hate it cause my friends see and it’s embarrassing! Also my mom acts different in front of him she is rude and mean to me and when he’s over she doesn’t care what I have to say. (I don’t get jealous I promise I just want my old mom back the fun and cool mom she use to be a couple of months ago! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO….:(

  70. Cecilia b said on October 17, 2014 at 4:28 pm ... #

    My parents got divorced 7 years ago and they haven’t really dated, but when I went on holiday with my dad I came back and it turns out my mum had been seeing someone, we met him and he is nice. But they spend lots of time together, and I just want my mum back :( I am 12 and we are moving house and everything, (not with the man, just in general) and I just want things to go back to always, my mum is mine and no one else can have her

  71. Aimee said on October 26, 2014 at 1:28 pm ... #

    Hey, my name is Aimee. Im 16 and have 2 siblings. My father has been gone for nearly 7 years. Feels like the other day! It was a car collision. My mom never dated until recently. She sat us down and told us we were important to her and she wanted to be open with us. Then we get the big shock ….she’s going to start dating her coworker. She told us she wanted us involved and comfortable. So we found ourselves sitting at Applebees with this person. Very awkward!! He’s very kind, though and respectful to all of us. I think he realizes we’re a packaged deal! They’ve been going out for 2 mos. When he comes to our house we all eat pizza, play games and watch movies. He’s never alone with mom except for private dates in public areas. It’s great that everything is open. We kinda feel like a family with him now. He also brought us someone…..his sweeeeeet dog Lady. She really helps tie us together. I feel very lucky..

  72. melove891 said on November 2, 2014 at 12:44 pm ... #

    my parents split up in 2011. my mom has had IT with 3/4 men already. Yuck! now she is dating. she didn’t tell me so i acted all moody for 3 days. she annoys me so much. yesterday they went to hotel and had IT. I’m so angry. I look through texts and I see her nickname for him SWEETNESS! Does she call me sweetness? No. she asked what was wrong and I told her. she just finished talking to him on the phone. we r Christian but I am angry with her for having IT before marriage. I cry in bed at night. its my birthday. she hasn’t told my bro and sis.

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