- Hello Grief - http://www.hellogrief.org -

The Valentine’s Challenge

First published in February 2010.

[1]Special days like anniversaries, birthdays, and major holidays bring a mixed blessing to those who have lost a spouse or significant other. They are, of course, a reminder of the loss and the sadness attached, but also a time to relish sweet and happy memories.

For many Valentine’s Day returns thoughts to pre-children/family romance and couple bonding. That’s what makes it different than those “other” memory stirring days. And it is a reminder for some that there’s not that special romantic connection at present.

Since I’ve not personally suffered the loss of a spouse, I’ve had to consult with those who have to explore ways of coping. I do have a few ideas of my own to share, but they are rooted in working with those who have lost a spouse and not personal experience. Here are a few ideas for helping get through the Valentine’s Day challenge.

Remember the rule, “If you want something, ask for it.” Friends and family are usually only too happy to respond. Learning to do that is a gift that keeps on giving. Not only do you receive what you want or need, but others have the opportunity to demonstrate their love and care. People are afraid of doing the wrong things when someone close to them has lost a loved one. You can help guide them by saying what you need.

Most importantly, take care of yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.

Happy Valentines Day with love, from Hello Grief.

Please continue the conversation: If you have a tradition that has helped you survive the Valentine’s Day challenge in the past, please share by commenting below. Your idea may help another in the same situation.

Photo Credit. [2]