Comments on: Turning to Friends to Aid with Grief http://www.hellogrief.org/turning-to-friends-to-aid-with-grief/ A place to learn and share about grief and loss Sat, 04 Feb 2012 03:20:44 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: kerry neuberger http://www.hellogrief.org/turning-to-friends-to-aid-with-grief/comment-page-1/#comment-2694 kerry neuberger Tue, 15 Mar 2011 23:44:02 +0000 http://www.hellogrief.org/?p=666#comment-2694 I like the idea of labeling the list of friends. The difficult thing is I am blessed with an amazing abundance of friends and family, they all want to help, they don't want to "push" themselves in and on us. They would do anything, at anytime - But what about when you don't really know what it is you need? How can you explain to them, with out hurting their feelings or making them feel their help isn't wanted - when what is needed isn't something they can help with? They can't be that other person sleeping with you - they can't be that person you'd make eye contact with across the room - they can't be that voice that you so need to hear. Showing up with the bottles of wine - and all the wonderful amazing things do help -but it's all the things above that I need, no one else can help with that. & That's the part that is hard to explain to them. I like the idea of labeling the list of friends. The difficult thing is I am blessed with an amazing abundance of friends and family, they all want to help, they don’t want to “push” themselves in and on us. They would do anything, at anytime –

But what about when you don’t really know what it is you need?

How can you explain to them, with out hurting their feelings or making them feel their help isn’t wanted – when what is needed isn’t something they can help with? They can’t be that other person sleeping with you – they can’t be that person you’d make eye contact with across the room – they can’t be that voice that you so need to hear.

Showing up with the bottles of wine – and all the wonderful amazing things do help -but it’s all the things above that I need, no one else can help with that. & That’s the part that is hard to explain to them.

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