Confronted by such a major force, some people stand passively on the beach, some resist and try to swim against the tide, while others learn how to harness the force of the waves to carry them in a direction they prefer to go.
At such a catastrophic time, when everything about the death feels undeniably out of control, it is difficult to perceive that there can be any choices or options. Yet, navigating and learning how to surf as a means of empowerment means you can make a choice to:
- Educate yourself as much as possible about the grieving process, as well as studying how others have navigated the waves.
- Ask for help, as opposed to going it alone, by seeking professional help or support groups.
- Set aside time to take “breaks” from the grief, as well as moments of leaning into the intensity of the waves; in other words, “dosing” your grief.
- Find outlets for the pain, and give yourself options for expressing it thru writing, talking to others, using art, music, photography, dance, exercise, etc.
- Change the tone of the “self-talk” and mental dialogue by focusing on the small accomplishments made in a day, as opposed to berating yourself for things not yet done.
- Make self-care a top priority.
Taking action and making choices are the best remedy for grief. Passivity runs the risk of being ambushed by the waves.
“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” – Karen Kaiser Clark